This is for you.

I don’t think you understand how hard it is to pick a title for a post.
These are some other options that were in the running:
“My friends are better than yours.”
“Here, read this.”
“Being the bigger person ain’t always easy.”
“#subtweet”
“New year, new me?”

But, I digress…

So, as you know, it’s been a whole year of Perfectly Ridiculous. Thinking back on the person I was when we started this kinda freaks me out. I’ve lived a lot of life in just a year. Maybe you want to know more about what I’ve learned – and, if you don’t, I’m gonna tell you anyways.

Lessons Learned in the last year:

1. Trust the process.

Sometimes doors close just as quickly as they opened. Opportunities can be just for a season. Maybe it’s so that you can see what you are capable of. Maybe it’s so that the people or the leaders around you can see what you are capable of. But whatever it is, trust the process.

This is easier said than done. I went through a season where all kinds of doors were opening, and not just any doors, but doors I had been praying for years would open. I was thriving and growing and beyond happy. Then, out of nowhere, these same doors started to close – not because I did anything wrong, but just because. It didn’t make sense, and parts of it still don’t. Only now can I see that, although I was thriving and enjoying it, things getting taken away only made more room for other things. These other things turned out to be cool opportunities that I was not expecting.

Closed doors don’t have to be a negative thing; in fact, closed doors eliminate options and make decisions a little easier to make. I’ve started to pray that God would close the wrong doors as much as He will open the right ones.

2. I am not a Plan B.

Anyone who keeps you at an arms length and only reaches out to you when they are bored is not worth it. It is not fair to be supportive of people and constantly for them, only to have them keep you around just so that you can encourage them or make them feel better about themselves.

You have to let people figure things out for themselves. I’m preaching this to myself more than anyone – you CANNOT please everyone. Cannot and will not. And you have to be okay with that.

I have learned a lot about people in the last year. At times, I learned things I didn’t want to learn. People hurt you, they leave you heart broken, they blame you, they laugh with you, they ignore you, they surprise you, they want the best for you. At the end of the day, you are only responsible for yourself. You can’t control the actions or reactions of anyone other than you. You can’t fight for people who won’t fight for themselves. Everyone is on a journey.

Hold on to the people who get you. I would much rather have just a handful of really good friends than have a bunch of friends who only talk to me when they’re bored or feel obligated to keep up communication with me. I am not a Plan B friend. No thanks.

3. Be good with you.

Just because someone calls you something or says you’re one way, it doesn’t mean you are that thing or are that way.

Personal example (it’s my post and I can do what I want): If someone calls you antisocial after hanging out with you once, it doesn’t mean you really are antisocial.

Remember, it’s about the movie – not the picture.
(Book, not the chapter? You can choose your favorite metaphor.)

Anyways, the point is that you have to be good with you so that the words of others don’t have power over you. Other people’s words can only hurt you if you let them.

You can’t live your life apologizing for being the way you are. You can grow and learn and own up to mistakes, but you should never have to apologize for being you.

I like musicals and Disney princesses and glitter – and so what?! That makes me ME. Over the last year, I found myself in relationships where I kept apologizing for being the way I am and liking the things I like. I got to a point where I would downplay key things and interests just to please people.

SO DUMB.

Let me tell you, life is way more fun when you sing songs from Frozen, obsess over Christmas, avoid certain (PG-13 rated) words, among other things. Those are not reasons to belittle someone, and certainly are not things I should apologize for.

1 Peter 5:6-7 says, “So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time.” Another translation says, “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”

So, there you have it. Three of the biggest things I’ve learned in the last year.

There are still dreams in my heart that I’m waiting for, and parts of my future I’m trying to figure out. It’s not always easy and right now, honestly, it’s all really scary. But, if I’ve learned anything over the last year, it’s that God is so faithful and He really does know best. In every situation. So here we go. Graduation is looming and grown up life awaits. Here’s to another year of lessons to learn, another year of life to live, and another year of hearing all about it on Perfectly Ridiculous.
I hope your seat belts are fastened…

– K

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