In one year I became a wife, a senior in college and FINALLY traveled out of the country. I grew up a lot this year. Being married makes you grow up in areas you didn’t even realize you needed growth in. But all that growth kind of made writing this blog super easy. I knew the things I wanted to touch on and I knew how to make them less personal than they actually are. This past year has brought many ups and a few very deep downs, but as we begin on this journey again I am thankful for each one of those ups and downs because they made me who I am today. So without further ado, here are the top 3 things I learned this year. I’m hoping that maybe one of you went through/is going through something similar and reading this blog will help. Who knows. I’m going to imagine that’s what’s happening anyways.
Sometimes keeping your mouth shut is the best option
I am one of those people who has a comment for everything. Sometimes that is a good thing. People come to me for advice or just to talk through something. But sometimes it’s a bad thing. Sometimes people don’t want to hear what you have to say and sometimes what you have to say doesn’t need to be said. Learning to shut my mouth has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I always feel like what I have to say is SO important. But what I have learned, is that if what you have to say needs to be said, there will be a time for it to be said. That person will come to you and ask your opinion or advice on the situation and you will finally be able to speak. But if they don’t come to you then shut up. If it’s something that you really need to discuss then tell another close friend and talk it through with them. Sometimes you just need to get things off your chest.
Sometimes people are going to hurt your feelings; it’s up to you to get over it
People are just that, they’re people. They are going to do people-esq things. Such as hurt your feelings. The most important thing is learning how to move on and get over it. You’re not always going to get an “I’m sorry” and even if you do sometimes they will do the same exact thing again. So instead of relying on them to change, you have to grow up. Tell them that they hurt your feelings and that you’d like the situation to change. If it doesn’t change make it change. Start avoiding that situation with that person, change topics whenever you can, and realize that they don’t mean it. Now if they do mean it, it might be time to cut them from your life. Maybe that will make them change. Having your feelings hurt is heartbreaking and at times can be downright unfair. But just remember to focus on yourself during those times, not the person who is hurting you, and you’ll come out of the situation so much stronger. Just hold on to that, the heartache only lasts so long.
Compromise isn’t easy
For real though. Being married is amazing. It’s fun and wonderful and I keep finding things that make me fall in love with my husband each day. But at the same time it’s very hard. I like getting my way. I don’t mean in a “throws a temper tantrum and cries till she get’s what she wants” kind of way, but I do things a certain way and I like it that way. Well my husband does things differently than me, which makes sense since we are different people. Sometimes that makes things very hard. We both want things our way, but that is not possible. Compromise means you will fight. You will yell and you will think things suck. But the biggest way to make compromise really happen is communication. Talk about why you’re angry, even if it’s the dumbest reason alive. If that person really loves you they will tell you you’re being dumb, talk through it with you and then move on. The wise philosophers known as Maroon 5 once said, “It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along.” As a newly married woman I can honestly say it is compromise that moves us along, without it we’d be stuck in the same arguments forever.
So yeah. I know I learned more things this year but these were the big 3. I hope you all learned something too.