What To Do When A Hurricane Ruins Your Plans

A couple weeks ago – Saturday, October 3rd to be exact – we were supposed to be galavanting through a corn maze shaped like Taylor Swift’s face.

No, really.

We found this link on Facebook and thought it was too good to be true. We did our research and realized Summers Farm was only 4 hours away in middle-of-nowhere-Maryland. We bought our tickets, planned our picnic menu, confirmed our sleepover the night before so we could get up and leave early, and anxiously awaited the magical morning of Saturday, October 3rd. Dreams of corn mazes, pumpkin picking, and fall picnics danced in our heads.

Cue Joaquin.

For the longest time the rain was forecasted to hold off until a few days after our trip. Then, midway through the week, we started to get nervous. It had been raining all week and the worst of the rain was creeping closer and closer to Saturday, October 3rd. The three of us were checking the weather every 30 minutes. We were quickly becoming expert meteorologists and were tracking the Joaquin’s path all the way from here to middle-of-nowhere-Maryland.

Finally, on that Thursday night before our trip, we made the call to cancel. The rain was 100% imminent no matter how often we checked.

Hurricane party. Obviously that was the only answer to our depression and devastation.

We quickly regrouped and decided a cozy sleepover party with as blankets as we owned, pjs and onesies, movies, coloring books, and pumpkin painting was the perfect cure. Naturally, we documented the whole event just to share with you.

So without further ado, here is what to do when a hurricane ruins your plans:

Watch Movies

When we laid out all of our movie options to vote, the vote ended sooner than it began once we heard that Chelsea had never seen Peter Pan with Jeremy Sumpter. WE DO BELIEVE IN FAIRIES. WE DO. WE DO.

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The next day, our movie picking ability was greatly lacking. We decided on the Mary-Kate & Ashley classic, Holiday In The Sun. Our brains turned to mush as we sat there and watched. It’s kind of like a car crash: It’s awful and sad and traumatic, but you just cannot turn away no matter how badly you don’t want to see it. And even after all of that, we still love Mary-Kate & Ashley.

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Shopping

Of course the rain was nonexistent when we woke up on Saturday morning… Thanks Joaquin. We decided to venture out for coffee and Target. Then, of course, just as we were pulling on our shoes, the rain made it’s grand entrance. We pulled on boots and raincoats and ran to the car. We were on the road for all of 10 minutes before the rain stopped and did not reappear the whole day… There’s no better way to cope with confusion and heartbreak than Target and a cup of coffee.

Some work clothes, candles, a jacket, and a coloring book later we were all shopped out and ready to head back to the house for our “rainy” afternoon activities.

Pumpkin Painting

Arts and crafts for the three of us is always a memory. We spread the tarp on the floor, arranged everything for a “before” photo, and then spent hours painting our little pumpkins (and eating plantain chips…). 

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Needless to say, our personalities shine very brightly when we attempt art projects…

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Color In A Coloring Book

Coloring books are the most therapeutic little things. Luckily for us, adult coloring books are the new thing, so these weren’t hard to find. We’ll leave it up to you to guess who’s coloring book is who’s…

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So there you have it. Joaquin might have tried to get the best of us, but we showed him who’s boss. Saturday, October 3rd was still one for the books.

-A, C, & K

Another Year Wiser

1 year.
In one year I became a wife, a senior in college and FINALLY traveled out of the country. I grew up a lot this year. Being married makes you grow up in areas you didn’t even realize you needed growth in. But all that growth kind of made writing this blog super easy. I knew the things I wanted to touch on and I knew how to make them less personal than they actually are. This past year has brought many ups and a few very deep downs, but as we begin on this journey again I am thankful for each one of those ups and downs because they made me who I am today. So without further ado, here are the top 3 things I learned this year. I’m hoping that maybe one of you went through/is going through something similar and reading this blog will help. Who knows. I’m going to imagine that’s what’s happening anyways.

Sometimes keeping your mouth shut is the best option

I am one of those people who has a comment for everything. Sometimes that is a good thing. People come to me for advice or just to talk through something. But sometimes it’s a bad thing. Sometimes people don’t want to hear what you have to say and sometimes what you have to say doesn’t need to be said. Learning to shut my mouth has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I always feel like what I have to say is SO important. But what I have learned, is that if what you have to say needs to be said, there will be a time for it to be said. That person will come to you and ask your opinion or advice on the situation and you will finally be able to speak. But if they don’t come to you then shut up. If it’s something that you really need to discuss then tell another close friend and talk it through with them. Sometimes you just need to get things off your chest.

Sometimes people are going to hurt your feelings; it’s up to you to get over it

People are just that, they’re people. They are going to do people-esq things. Such as hurt your feelings. The most important thing is learning how to move on and get over it. You’re not always going to get an “I’m sorry” and even if you do sometimes they will do the same exact thing again. So instead of relying on them to change, you have to grow up. Tell them that they hurt your feelings and that you’d like the situation to change. If it doesn’t change make it change. Start avoiding that situation with that person, change topics whenever you can, and realize that they don’t mean it. Now if they do mean it, it might be time to cut them from your life. Maybe that will make them change. Having your feelings hurt is heartbreaking and at times can be downright unfair. But just remember to focus on yourself during those times, not the person who is hurting you, and you’ll come out of the situation so much stronger. Just hold on to that, the heartache only lasts so long.

Compromise isn’t easy

For real though. Being married is amazing. It’s fun and wonderful and I keep finding things that make me fall in love with my husband each day. But at the same time it’s very hard. I like getting my way. I don’t mean in a “throws a temper tantrum and cries till she get’s what she wants” kind of way, but I do things a certain way and I like it that way. Well my husband does things differently than me, which makes sense since we are different people. Sometimes that makes things very hard. We both want things our way, but that is not possible. Compromise means you will fight. You will yell and you will think things suck. But the biggest way to make compromise really happen is communication. Talk about why you’re angry, even if it’s the dumbest reason alive. If that person really loves you they will tell you you’re being dumb, talk through it with you and then move on. The wise philosophers known as Maroon 5 once said, “It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along.” As a newly married woman I can honestly say it is compromise that moves us along, without it we’d be stuck in the same arguments forever.

So yeah. I know I learned more things this year but these were the big 3. I hope you all learned something too.

– A

Happy 1st Birthday!

Weeee’re baaaaack!!

We know it’s been forever since we’ve posted anything new, but there’s a reason.
10 reasons, actually…

Top 10 Reasons For Our Absence:

  1. We climbed Mount Everest. But we left our camera at the top and therefore lost all our photos…
  2. We turned Amish – mostly for the cheese and butter.
  3. Ashley went to rehab for her Tootsie Roll addiction. They sent her home and told her there is no hope.
  4. Chelsea tried her hand at wizardry… Silly muggle.
  5. Kylie locked herself in a tower and tried to grow her hair as long as Rapunzel’s, but her bird friends got sick of her singing.
  6. We traveled the world as Beyonce’s back up dancers.
  7. We got hired as Anna, Elsa, and Olaf on a Disney cruise. You can guess who was who.
  8. We recorded an E.P. with Aaron Carter. Stay on the lookout for that…
  9. We moved to L.A. to make it as dancers, but the only job we booked was dancing sharks and trees.
  10. We spent months preparing for a lip-synch battle with Jimmy Fallon. We’re still waiting on our invitation…

Feel free to pick your favorite reason and ask us about it. We have some great stories to tell.

But really, life just got a little crazy. We had to prioritize some things and Perfectly Ridiculous got the short end. But, now we’re back and ready to go once again. We have some new ideas and have reworked some of the logistics when it comes to posts, so we’re sure that you will be happy AND that we will be able to keep this thing going and set ourselves up for success.

Can you believe it has already been a year since our first post?! This first birthday would not be possible without you all. We are so thankful for you! It means so much that you guys read what we write. So thank you for sticking around.

Happy Birthday, Perfectly Ridiculous!

– A, C, & K

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Skin Deep?

Hello world!

Yes, it has been a very long time since you have heard from the three of us. We’re sorry and one day we’ll get around to explaining ourselves and why we were gone. But this is not the time for that.

Right now I am going to share something that has been on my mind for the past few days.

I think every girl should get a facial.
Yes. You read that right. A facial.

Here’s why: I got my 1st facial ever the other day. I found a Groupon and I bought it because my soon to be mother-in-law told me I should get a facial before the wedding. I went to this cute little salon and had a wonderful time. The entire time I just kept thinking how good my skin was going to look and how amazing it all was. I paid the lady and left.

When I got in the car, I saw all these red dots all over my face from where she “extracted” my zits. Suddenly, I felt so self conscious. I had thought getting a facial was going to make my face and skin flawless. I basically expected it to be magic. I thought I would leave and suddenly have wonderful skin. Needless to say I was upset, but I told everyone how it was worse before it was going to get better and how happy I was with it.

Today is 2 days after my facial and I am a changed woman. I went through a huge self discovery moment. I decided I wouldn’t wear makeup for a few days afterwards and follow the routine the facial lady told me to. I drank more water and I cleaned my face with what she told me use. My skin has never looked better. I am so stinkin’ excited. I have so much more self confidence. But the key wasn’t to just wash my face or drink water, I also did some work under my skin.

I prayed about why just having a few red dots on my face had crushed me as much as it did. Why did it matter that I had some “agitated sweat glands” or that my nose is covered in blackheads? Why did it hurt so much to finally come face to face with myself?

We as women are always trying to convince ourselves that we are fine. “Oh, my hair won’t do what I want it to do ever, that’s okay, I’m fine.” “My chin is breaking out again today, that’s fine.” NO. It’s not fine. It sucks. You’re allowed to be upset over a pimple, but make sure it’s just the pimple you’re upset about. Take a step back and make sure you’re not really upset because you think you’re not pretty enough. Make sure you’re not comparing yourself to that other girl who always seems to have wonderful skin.

Now, I understand that this is an extremely difficult subject and self worth comes from a lot more than how we look. But this is more of a reminder to just stop and take a step back. Remind yourself of all the good in you. Hate that pimple, but don’t hate yourself. And while you’re at it, go get a facial. Give it a few days and see the results. I am so glad I did.

– A

Women Crush Wednesday

So, for the summer we’ve decided to start a new trend of honoring women who are heroes for all sorts of reasons. Our Women Crush Wednesday series will highlight women who are doing something for other women or mankind in general. Chelsea started us off last week with all of the schoolgirls who were kidnapped in Nigeria.

This week, I’m going to share a little bit about Nancy Alcorn and Mercy Ministries:

The Mercy program is based on Christian principles and teachings but uses proven methods and professional counseling staff to serve a diverse population of young women from across the United States. Our program is designed to provide the women we serve with the tools necessary to break free from the destructive cycles controlling their lives and to instead live healthy, independent, Christian lifestyles. The Mercy program lasts approximately six months and usually culminates with graduation from the program. However, length of stay may vary due to individual needs and situations, and in certain instances (such as pregnant girls who give birth) residents may leave the program prior to graduation but still having accomplished desired outcomes.

Mercy Ministries is completely free of charge to the young women we serve. Many of the girls who come to Mercy for help are facing a combination of debilitating circumstances and have been in various treatment facilities with unsuccessful long-term results. We are committed to providing the young women we serve with excellent program services that allow them to recognize their self-worth and prepare them to reach their full potential. Through the application of God’s unconditional love, our approach to healing allows young women to permanently stop destructive cycles and prepares them to take hope out into their communities.

Nancy has come to Wave and shared some stories from Mercy Ministries, and I can say that what they do is amazing. These girls come because they want help and Nancy and her team help change their lives. Take a look at all they do and if you want to help out – I’ve attached a link so you can sponsor a girl.

 

-A

Happy Mother’s Day!

Our moms are some of the most important people in our lives. We wanted to take a minute (or however long it takes to read this post) to honor them and let them see just how much they mean to us. So, in true Perfectly Ridiculous style, here’s a Q&A on our moms!

What is one thing your mom taught you that you still remember to this day?
A – My mom really taught me and my brothers to persevere. No matter what hardship I was facing – failing out of school, breaking up with a boyfriend, or losing a best friend, my mom stood by me and told me to hold on. She made sure that we understood that life was going to be full of terrible situations and the only way through them is to pray and keep your head up even if it’s something you brought upon yourself.
C – My mom taught me how to spin a basketball on my finger, bounce it off my elbow into the air and then keep it spinning again. Yep. My mom is awesome.
K – One of my favorite things my mom taught me is, “Don’t be afraid to tell God what you want, but trust Him to give you what you need.” My mom knows my natural instinct is to be the peacemaker, stay quiet, deal with things myself, and make sure everyone else is taken care of. I am self-sacrificial to a fault. My mom has taught me that it’s okay to humbly voice my opinion and to trust God with my dream.

What is the worst piece of clothing she dressed you in?
A – Well, growing up in the 90’s meant Easter was a time for white dresses with really terrible socks and black shoes. Oh, those were probably the worst outfits in the world! Also, I always had a hat. Well, maybe not always, but the one Easter I remember vividly I had a hat. The poor 90’s…
C – There was this dress. It looked like really bad curtains that had been re-purposed with the sole intent of making me look like a grungy couch you would find in your great aunt’s sitting room. It also had a white doily/bib-looking thing on the front of it—it was atrocious. But she didn’t stop there. She also thought making me wear little socks with frills was a good idea as well. At the time, I just thought it was cruel.
K – I don’t know if there is one thing that would be the worst. Maybe more like a collection of everything. I remember a sailor outfit… Why you would need to dress your already adorable toddler as a sailor – I’ll never know. I’m sure it was fashionable back then in the early 90s (or I hope it was…), so I guess I’ll just have to trust that everyone else was dressing their children in equally as hideous clothing.

What is one quality in your mom that you wish to emulate? One you don’t like?
A – Her patience. My mother is so patient and I am so not. She can drive anywhere and not get angry at anyone. My road rage, on the other hand, is embarrassing. She’s so patient with people, too; it’s what draws them to her. I hope one day to love people like she does, but also to be able to be patient with them and not expect them to work like I do.
One I don’t like? I honestly can’t think of one. Not because my mom is perfect, but because she’s really following after God with her whole heart and what’s not to like about that?
C – There are a lot. But for where I am in life right now, I would like to have her patience. She has raised 7 children without giving any of us away (permanently-sleepover’s at friends’ houses were welcomed with open arms). She also home-schooled all of us until we reached high school, coached many of our sports teams over the years, and has sat through countless hours of practices, games, tournaments and awards ceremonies. And she did all of that with a smile and willing spirit.
One I don’t like? Hmmm. The correct answer is “there aren’t” right? Haha but if I HAD to come up with something it would probably be her willingness to help with anything. She’s so generous with her time and energy that she is constantly doing things for other people. Now don’t get me wrong, I would love to be more like her in this area too, but it just makes me tired thinking about all the stuff she does.
K – Two qualities that my mom possesses that I want to have are her work ethic and motivation. Last year, she graduated with her masters while working a full time job, serving in church, and raising a family – AND SHE GRADUATED WITH HONORS. She’s a genius. Another quality I love is the way she can say anything to people. She can say things that others could not get away with. She’s the most genuine person I know and connects with people so quickly and so easily. I want people to be able to open up to me and trust me the way people trust her.
The right answer would be “none,” BUT, if I’m being honest… Qualities I don’t want would be her dance moves, sense of direction, driving, and backseat driving (AKA her passenger seat yelling).

How often, if at all, do you catch yourself sounding like your mom?
A – All the time. My mom was always worried about us. In a mom sort of way, not an overprotective, weird, worried about us kind of way. But the way she would make sure we were okay before we left the house or did something slightly dangerous was by saying, “Watch your toes.” That was her code for “Be safe.” I say it ALL THE TIME NOW. It has become somewhat of an inside joke with my family now, but I will always remember to watch my toes.
C – I’ve caught myself a few times, but not a lot yet. It’s usually when I’m reacting to some absurd thing that Austin has just said or when I’m meeting new people and being super polite. Sometimes when I sing, I actually hear my voice sound like hers. I actually like it when I do sound like my mom, because I don’t get to see her all that much anymore and it makes me happy that I’m at least a little bit like her.
K – Only recently have I noticed myself sounding more like my mom. Maybe I’ve always sounded like her, but it’s only been a couple years where I’ve caught myself doing it. And not just the things I say, but the way I say them, facial expressions, inflections, and sometimes even how I talk with my hands just like she would.

What is one thing your mom taught you that you wish she could teach everyone else?
A – To stop talking and listen. My mom is a great listener and she always made sure she would listen to us (even when we were being ridiculous). She always taught us to just stop and listen to what the other person was saying. I’ve noticed how important that really is through all of my relationships.
C – How to be nice to people you don’t like. Just because you don’t appreciate what a certain person has to offer in this life, doesn’t mean that you are allowed to treat them with disrespect. Jesus died for them and loves them just as much as he loves you—so your actions should reflect that even if just being near them makes you want to punch something.
K – I love that my mom taught me that they were my parents – not my friends. My mom and dad made it clear that later on the boundaries would change a little and we’d become more comfortable, but until then they were parents, so I needed to treat them that way. Another thing she taught me that I think other people need to learn is, “I’m a THIS; not a THAT.” I still remember my mom telling me this the first time and it’s one of the most important things I’ve learned. So simple and so true. I’m pretty glad my mom is MY mom.

At what age did you realize that your mom actually WAS cool?
A – Well, I had always hoped she was cool since I’m so much like her, but in all honesty, probably not until I was older. Around high school and the 1st year of college is when I was like, shoot, my mom is awesome. Now that I’m older, I’m really starting to get to know my mom as a person outside of being a mom. It’s neat. She’s a pretty cool cat.
C – The age when she stopped making me wear hideous dresses and taught me to do the cool spinny thing with the basketball, so 11 I think. From that point I think I always knew she was cooler than the other moms, but I just didn’t know how cool until I left for college and had to do life 500 miles away from her.
K – Honestly, I think I realized this pretty early on. I used to tell people, “My parents are actually really cool, but I can’t tell them or it will go to their heads.” But when I turned 20 I definitely realized it in a whole new way. She’s the best.

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IMG_2962Happy Mother’s Day!
– A, C, & K

True Confession Tuesday

“Shame is a soul eating emotion.” ― C.G. Jung

I’ve never read a quote that so perfectly described something in my life. Anyone who has ever dealt with any kind of shame understands this “soul eating” like no other.

Shame is a tricky thing. It’s not an act you can commit, yet once you do something that lets shame in, it controls pretty much every aspect of your life. What’s strange about shame is that it can either be brought on by something you did (messing up and feeling ashamed later), or it can be brought on by something that happened to you (something you had absolutely no control over).

*This post is about to get all sorts of personal. I’m going to use an example of a time I brought shame on myself and a time that shame was put on me without me having any control over it. I’m going to go through how shame controlled how I spoke, how I acted, and how I treated other people. So read on please, and I hope that this little look into my life story will help people who are also dealing with shame. *

We’ll start with shame I brought upon myself. I failed out of college. My GPA was a whopping 2.3 and that’s unacceptable, so I got kicked out. Over Christmas break of 2010, I snuck back to school when everyone was gone, packed up my dorm room in a whirlwind, texted my roommate and told her that I wasn’t coming back, and then hid at home for a few weeks. I brought this one upon myself. I knew I was failing. I had gotten the letters from school telling me, and yet I still thought having fun and hanging out was more important. Up until just recently, when people asked me why I “transferred” to the school I am at now, I lied and told them it was for financial reasons. That’s what I like to call a “shame says.” Shame says, “I can lie about this. It’s technically true and no one needs to know the real truth.” But that’s not true. By continually telling this lie, all I was doing was letting shame tighten its grasp on me. I told that lie so many times I started to believe it myself. Shame says, “You totally transferred to save money.” Anytime a group of people starting talking about school and I knew they were going to ask me where I went, my mind starting coming up with what I was going to say. Shame had an entire arsenal of responses to save me from being embarrassed or looking dumb. All the while, shame would make me feel terrible for lying and would tell me how dumb I “really was.”

Shame makes you keep things inside to save face. It tells you that people will make fun of you, that you’re stupid, that people will look at you differently, and in the end no one will be your friend. Every time you let a “shame says” speak instead of you, you’re letting it beat you up a little bit more.

Now onto shame that was put on me. I’ve been molested 3 times in my life. Once when I was 9, again when I was 15, and again when I was 17. Now there is a ton of stuff that comes along with any type of sexual abuse. And thank God for my parents and their love and help. When I finally told them about these things, I was able to really work through some things, but shame is the big thing that comes along with this. Each time it happened, I thought that somehow I had wanted it to happen or had asked for it in the sense of “leading someone on” or just not saying no. I felt weak and disgusting each time it happened because I had shame telling me “I deserved it,” and “I wanted it and liked it.” This shame made me not talk about it at all. Instead of having shame say things for me, it controlled how I acted. I became extremely closed off around everyone. When I was in relationships, it made me think that the only way to know that the guy loved or valued me was through physical acts. It made me so self aware of how I dressed and how I spoke. It completely controlled my interactions people, and it still does. I’m so much more aware of it now, and I’m still walking through ridding it from my life.

If anything like this has ever happened to you, you know that shame becomes a big aspect of your life, and it’s scary. It’s upsetting, and it makes you feel sick, stressed, annoyed and angry whenever the topic comes up. But there is good news. Shame is something that can be beat. It’s not so big that it will win. You can overcome it. If it’s shame you brought upon yourself—stop lying to other people about it. You’re not the first person to deal with whatever it is. You could be missing out on meeting other people who are dealing with the same thing. There is strength in numbers. Start with being honest with others, and you’ll be surprised how easy it is to be honest with yourself and not hate yourself for it. If it’s shame that has been put on you—let me tell you something: no matter what the circumstances were (or are) you do not deserve this. You did nothing wrong, and even if you did, you don’t deserve to be constantly beat up over it. Seek help. Find someone who loves you and confide in them. It will help. I promise.

Romans 10:11 – The Scripture says, “No man who believes in Him [who adheres to, relies on, and trusts in Him] will [ever] be put to shame or be disappointed.”

God never intended for us to live in shame. He died so that we could live freely. He did His part, so now we have to do our part. It’s up to us to take Him at His word and believe for shame to be broken.

A